Brandon Vanallman

Narrative Essay

            As I sat on the bench, the heat seemed almost overwhelming. I was about to test for my black belt, and all around me there was the noise of talk. People were scattered down the mat, getting in some last minute practice before the testing session. The sides of the cramped room were filled with people, most of them sitting on the floor as there were not enough seats. Camera flashes could be seen from any angle. Then, it started. The only signal of this was a loud voice shouting the message “Alright”. Almost immediately, all noise stopped; No camera flashes either. I had been nervous during the drive there, but it was at this point that I felt like I was falling. This was, after all, my black belt testing. We moved quickly to the front of the room, where the panel of instructors and their long table awaited. The outside world could be seem in the back, where the windows were. It was dusk, almost completely dark. I didn’t see a point in looking back though. My attention was on the instructors, watching them, like animals going hunting. That prize, however, was my new belt. The head instructor, Mr. Abbott, then started to speak. I had been through this process many times before; he was making announcements. I sat stretching while I listened, all the while the sharp, artificial light beamed down on us from the ceiling. There was about 50-70 people there, so I was far from alone.

At that moment Mr. Abbott said to the group “This is your testing. Everything depends on how bad you want to succeed”. When the announcements (and pep talk) had ended, the other students and I were told to go to the back of the room and sit. This again, was normal procedure. They started calling us up in groups of four from there; we were about to present our forms. In taekwondo, a form is a series of moves that had to be learned in perfect order and technique in order to pass. As the groups of four went up, I went over my form over and over in my head. This, for me, was the hardest part of testing. Eventually I was called up and stood silently in front of the board of instructors. During the time spent doing my form, I didn’t think about anything at all except what I was doing. After I was done I stood in front of the instructors again, waiting for the others on the mat to finish. When that happen, I, along with the other three students, were dismissed and sent to the back. I was happy when I realized this, because not having to repeat forms is the sign of success in that part of testing. I waited a while after that, and was feeling much better. I felt the familiar warmth of the building increasing from the number of people inside, but I knew it was only going to get worse once sparring started; dozens of people sparring covered in red gear doesn’t usually help with temperature. Eventually that time came, and I was put into one of two lines along with around 26 other people. Being a red belt, I had to spar an instructor to get my new belt. For me, sparring was one of the easier requirements. It was consecutive two minute matches for about a half hour. It at that point felt like 120 degrees, but I was still focused on sparring. That came to an end too, and I sat down at the back again. Now only one thing was left; I needed to break boards. I usually did well with board breaking, but I was also usually very nervous about it. One inability to break the boards resulted in the failure of the entire testing. I slowly walked up to join the line of people now waiting for their turn. The butterflies returned to my stomach. When it was my turn to break the boards, I found my range, bowed, and broke them. There were no complications. At the sight of this I strolled to the back of the room again, almost certain I had passed. A good 7 minutes passed, and I noticed that everyone was done. We herded ourselves to the front again, where Mr. Abbott was waiting with a few words. He announced that he was very happy with the night’s testing, and that he saw “a lot of effort put forth” by the students. We were then dismissed.